Dilemma

My boyfriend asked me, if I exercised today. I immediately felt a wave of stress and guiltiness. I given up on exercise long ago. I hated it. Every single time I allow myself to set a fixed schedule on exercise, I end up over-doing it. I have a love-hate relationship with it. I would exercise, running 10km or more every single day and refusing to do any social activities, not even my studies were more important than that. It was like my religion, my safe haven. But then again, it isn't. It's a prison for me. A place where I had to go to, or else I feel fat, and disgusted with myself. I wonder if I should tell my boyfriend that I really wish that I don't want to rely on exercise, I don't want to feel like I HAVE to exercise. But I understand that he just wants me to lose weight..